<<<<ZerO
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-feeling the need to get some love or reaction from deep in the folders of my computer, even if it is for my own ego.
When the Nuclear Bombs Hit...
In St. Louis, there was a rap
showdown of epic proportions. The winner was poised to take rap music in an
entirely new direction, one that would finally bridge the gap between
street-wise and musically respected. In a parallel but different world, the winner of this rap
showdown could go on to win a Nobel Prize in Music; a feat truly extraordinary
as the Nobels had never acknowledged hip hop music's place in civilized society, going to show that even in parallel dimensions, hip hop was still marginalized.
Washington D.C's airports were
under a complete shutdown due to a suspicious piece of luggage which was really
only an odd-shaped dildo. However, the dildo made it impossible for most
senators and congressmen to return to the relative safety of their home
districts. Later, many people in their home districts were quite happy with
this development, despite the circumstances.
Two wannabe early 20's Hollywood
screenwriters tossed their current script they were working on, one that
involved Killer Zombies and began on their newest, better idea; Nuclear
Zombies.
A man was walking high in the Rocky
Mountains. He wasn't vertically superior to most of the scenery, but he was
smoking a joint. He felt he was a born leader but was continually frustrated
that nobody would follow him. He had a good vantage point to see the nuclear
cloud hit Denver, Colorado.
In Saudi Arabia, many of the
highest Princes in the land locked themselves in their compounds, refusing to
answer their phones and wondering if they had made the right choices in their
lives after all by deciding to go with the silver-plated Rolls Royce instead of
the golden one.
In Palestine, those that lived for
the few hours after the initial blast rocked Jerusalem wished that whoever did it had just stuck
to throwing rocks.
Chris Isaac hooked up with Lily
Allen after they had deposited their assigned objects into the proper
receptacle near the Vatican where the other 8 pieces were or would be deposited. It wasn't long
after when One of the Four came, put it together and detonated it. Aware yet
unaware of exactly how long that would take until detonation, be it ten minutes or ten days,
they opted to go at it in a secluded corner of the Vatican's many gardens.
A man coincidentally named Leonard Cohen (but of no relation to the Canadian balladeer) spent his last day peacefully, as per usual. After hearing of the the first bombs he went outside into his backyard
garden and meditated at his usual spot among the greenery. When a bomb wiped
out Montreal, he was at peace with himself and the universe.
When Portland, Oregon was struck,
it gave the opportunity for dozens of late night comedy writers to make jokes
about the sudden extermination of 'hipster douche bags'. That opportunity never
truly materialized however as both Los Angeles and New York were hit with more
nuclear bombs than was necessary. Keeping in mind that anything over one
nuclear bomb is unnecessary.
Pat Sajack was taking a small
holiday from his job at Wheel of Fortune to enjoy the solitude in the interior
of Northern California when news hit that Los Angeles and surrounding area had
become a wasteland, fit for no man or beast. Nobody could enter the Hot Zone
(already Los Angeles had made the nuclear strikes fashionable) in the
forseeable future.
Finally, he
whispered to the sky, thank you.
In the Southern States, southern
pride took over in the following week as it appeared nobody really considered
the South worth a nuke or two. Talks of a southern-based government started up
until Alabama invaded Mississippi and the four most racist southern states started
shifting their hatred of the coloreds to their hatred of their stupid, inbred
neighbours.
Soon, nobody knew who was
fighting who and so state lines quickly divided into property lines, protected
by some of the most heavily armed civilians outside of Texas. Natural Selection
would take over that part of the continent.
Perhaps the best thing to come out of the loss of the Internet and all major types of communication was that nobody knew what the fuck anybody else was doing about it, leaving them all to fend for themselves.
These are some of their stories...
