Where the hell is the Commissioner?




-Yeah! Where's the commissioner in this hockey pool? What the hell is going on?
What happened?
-I don't know, you fucker fucked off after the Olympic break.
I was busy. What happened in the Olympics? Did we win?
-Fuckin' eh we won.
Well, good for us. What did we win?
-Hockey supremacy!
No, I mean really, what did we win?
-Gold medals, both men and women!
Sweet. But what did we win?
-I just told you, Gold medals.
Ok, I got that. But what else?
-We made those fuckers have to listen to the Canadian National Anthem.
Oh. Well, I guess that's kinda...
-Kinda what?
Huh? Oh nothing. Just kinda...
-Yeah, you said that. Kinda what?
Nothing. I'm happy for them.
-Happy for us.
Yeah, that's what I meant, happy for us. I really feel like my life has turned a corner now, what with Canada winning gold medals in hockey.
-Damn rights! Canada! Right in the feelsies!
But I can't help notice that gas has risen again.
-Yeah, so?
Shouldn't we like, pay less now? Like shouldn't we all win something?
-What the fuck you talking about? We won the Gold medals. In hockey. Our sport.
Yeah, but can't we just like maybe say, win free gas for a year? Now that would be a pretty decent prize. Something for everyone.
-We won national pride!
I already had that. I want to win something else. Like free gas.
-That's not how sports works. We win trophies. And medals.
What about money, shouldn't we win money?
-Well, the athletes win money.
But what do i win?
-You win the honour of living in the same country with someone who won some money doing a sport better than anyone else in the world. Now shut up before I punch you in the face.
-You mean, anyone else who could afford to go.
Same thing.
-I didn't even get a day off work. That doesn't seem right.
Why should you get a day off work?
-Because Canada is the best at hockey.
That doesn't make sense.
-Sure it does. They should say something like 'Hey we are the best at hockey so now we want free gas for a year and everybody gets a holiday.'
-That's not how sports works.
Well, it should. I didn't even get a free T-shirt.
-Sighhhh... just shut the fuck up. Who's winning in the pool?
Thrilla still. Followed by the usual, Blow My Goat and the Pocket Rockets. At least in this pool, the winner wins something more than just a gold medal.
-Really? Still going with that prize thing are you?
Sure, why not, i mean at least they've showed some interest. This was fun in a way. I liked the rule changes.
-Why didn't you keep doing them?
Oh. Is hockey still going? I thought it ended with the Olympics.
-No. Now we are in the playoff race.
Weren't we talking about the playoffs back in December?
-Yes, But now it's pretty serious. There's like 10 games left or something.
Wow. How bad are the Canucks now?
-Very funny. But, pretty bad. You won't believe what happened with Luongo.
I probably would. Try me.
-I don't want to talk about it.
Did he win a gold medal?
-Technically yes. Then he got rewarded further by moving to Florida.
Now that's a prize for you. When is he coming back?
-That's funny.